Excerpt from The Official Schitt Family History and Associated Regrets

“Preserving questionable history since 1694.”

DISCLAIMER:

This site, kept by the Crock O. Schitt Historical Archives, is dedicated to the preservation of any n’ all fictional Schitt family records, questionable testimony, disputed genealogy, associated regrets, and whatever else happened to be dug up er  lyin’ around when we found it.

Jus ’cause we dug it up, wrote it down, or shoved it in a file cabinet don’t mean it’s true – fully anways. Likewise, don’t mean it ain’t! That’s fer you to figure out.

Historical accuracy may vary dependin’ upon the witness, the goat, the condition of the tavern records, and whether Cousin Deep was tellin’ the story.

Any resemblance to actual persons, places, events, goats, cousins, or local government officials (frenly n’ not), ER former in-laws [damn Scheister’s] is purely coincidental, probably, n’ we swear ta that!

The Crock O. Schitt Historical Archives accepts no responsibility fer confusion, arguments at family reunions, lost sleep, genealogical disputes, church committee investigations, er goat-related misunderstandings.

Furthermore, ya can’t sue us. We ain’t got Schitt.

— Crock O. Schitt
Acting Archivist, Historian, Genealogist, possessor of dubious records, and Occasional Witness wen sober

Explore the Archives

• Colonial Schitts
• Frontier Schitts
• The Goat Era
• Crock O. Schitt’s Annotated Regrets