The Crock O. Schitt Historical Archives Master Name Index

(Alphabetical Canon Register)

Crock Introduction

Compiled from family Bibles (bow yer head), county records, church ledgers, tavern receipts, disputed testimony, chicken-damaged notebooks, and other historical sources of questionable reliability.

These here records represent the current official register maintained by the Crock O. Schitt Historical Archives. New discoveries, marriages, births, corrections, and long-lost relatives will be added as records surface—or somebody finally remembers where Granny hid ’em.

Records are records.

— Crock O. Schitt, Acting Archivist

EDITOR’S NOTE:
Names is printed in bold on account o’ this family branches like swamp mangroves. Without the bold print, readers was gettin’ lost, accidentally marryin’ cousins, and blamin’ the author. We fixed what we could.

Archivist’s Note:
“Researchers frequently question why so many members of the Schitt family appear in surviving records to possess unusual nicknames. Surviving correspondence suggests the family had an established tradition of shortening perfectly respectable given names into something considerably less dignified.”

Signed,

— Evelyn Grace, Acting Chief Archivist

With Cousin Deep penciling in the margin:

“Mama tried. The family didn’t.”

* Birth | M* Marriage | † Death

A

Abigail Ruth (Carter) Schitt – [SCH-0058] B1816 M1829 †c.1892
  • Wife of Henry Ledger Schitt
  • Great Goat incident of 1886!
  • Mother of Bartholomew J. Schitt.
  • Abigail becomes known for preserving letters, recipes, births, and keepsakes. Married very young, but was mature for her age.

Adrian Orville Brewer — [BRE-0030] B1887 M1906 †1967

  • Son of Raymond Oliver & Ellen Louise (Utterback) Brewer
  • Husband of Saundra Gail (Thacker) Brewer
  • Father of Kay Rita Brewer & Marie Sue Brewer
  • Whitewasher
Allison Schitt – Mirefield – [MRF-0001] B1897 M1916 †1963
  • Daughter of Strome Schitt & Crystobell (Tinoco) Schitt.
  • Wife of Cedrick Q. Mirefield
Alonzo Eli Bird — [BIR-0003] B1824 M1846 †c.1872
  • Husband of Ava Charlotte (Wren) Bird
  • Father of Polly Mavis (Bird) Schitt
  • Cobbler
Alreda Sue (Lister) Schitt – [SCH-0046] B1926 M1949 †UND
  • Wife of Broke P. Schitt
  • Mother of Bunnie Schitt

Amos Leam Schitt — [SCH-0053] B1718 M1752 †c.1764
• Husband of Rebecca Noe (Shekels) Schitt
• Father of Opulence Fancy Schitt
• First documented in a County Sheriff record concerning a damaged boundary fence
• Judge ordered repairs to the shared boundary fence

Anita Kay Asse — [ASE-0003] B1961
• Daughter of Arthur Douglas Asse & Fanny May (Bottoms) Asse
• Early relationship with Crock Schitt
• Subsequent correspondence reportedly lost; circumstances disputed. – She had little to say after her daliance and less to express.

Arthur Douglas Asse – [ASE-0001] B1939 M1961

  • Husband of Fanny May (Bottoms) Asse
  • Father of Anita Kay Asse

Arthur Sebastian Brown — [BRO-0018] B1890 M1909 †UND

  • Son of Joseph Lathem & Francis Marjorie (Williams) Brown
  • Husband of Mary Ruth (Hayes) Brown
Ashley Sage Rowan — [ROW-0006] B2010

• Daughter of Harold Arthur and Kathy Jade (Evergreen) Rowan
• Younger sister of Molly Bess Rowan
• Active in 4-H poultry projects
• Current project interests include pheasants and Japanese quail
• Has recently been spending considerable time working with Chicken Schitt on their 4-H poultry project

Ashley W. Schitt – [SCH-0023] B1712 M1734 †1745
  • Husband of Bonnie (Butler) Schitt
  • Father of LTGen Boregard Bullion Schitt

Ava Charlotte (Wren) Bird — [BIR-0004] B1827 M1846 †c.1881

  • Wife of Alonzo Eli Bird
  • Mother of Polly Mavis (Bird) Schitt
  • Seamstress

Awe Schitt – [SCH-0001] B1936 M1957 †1992

  • Husband of OH (Midden) Schitt
  • Father of Jack Schitt
  • “King of Manure”
  • Son of Bewilder O. & Honour M. Schitt
  • Maternal identity & marriage record remain under investigation.
  • Given name: Awaan – Mom probably read Arabian Nights.
  • Grampa refused to replace the crooked front step at the family home for more than 30 years, insisting anyone worth inviting already knows it’s there. Family accounts disagree on how many guests discovered it the hard way!.

B

Barnard Schittner — [SHN-0004] B1659 M1680, 1689 †c.1696
• Gunsmith
• Husband of Thomasina Bytzel Jager; married 1680
• Husband of Etheldreda Marie Gunther; married 1689
• Father of Detrich, Magdalena, Konrad, Heinrich, Eva, Lina, Emma and Lore Schittner
• Thomasina died c.1685 following the birth of twins Konrad and Heinrich
• Later Schittner family records become increasingly fragmentary

Bartholomew Juleous Schitt– [SCH-0021] B1829

  • Husband of Prudence Mercy (Smith) Schitt
  • Earliest documented colonial Schitt
  • Father of Parrot Schitt
  • Son of Henry L. & Abigail R. Schitt

Beatrix (Moneypenny) Schitt – [SCH-0045] B1897

  • Wife of Eligah Schitt
  • Mother of Broke P. Schitt

Ben Scheister – [SHT-0001] B1951 M1974

  • Husband of Molly (Schetter) Scheister

Benjamine Midden – [MID-0001] B1912 M1936 †1978

  • Husband of Ophelia (Chier) Midden
  • Father of OH (Midden) Schitt
  • Started Needeep N. Midden, Inc.

Bertram V. Schitt – [SCH-0027] B1811 †c.1865

  • Brother of Horace B. Schitt
  • Son of Boregard Bullion Schitt & Odelina (Medici) Schitt
  • County Surveyor

Bewilder Overawe Schitt — [SCH-0060] B1891 M1926 †1948
• Husband of Honour May (Grissom) Schitt
• Father of Awe, Cordilia Pearl, Velma Louise & Margaret Ruth
• Farmer & cattle rancher

Bonnie (Butler) Schitt – [SCH-0039] B1717 M1734 †c.1770

  • Wife of Ashley W. Schitt
  • Mother of Boregard Bullion Schitt

Boris E. (Edward) Schitt — [SCH-0049] *1591 †c.1644
• Husband of Maggie Sue (Albert) Schitt
• Father of Mary Beth & Isaac Walter
• Arrived in America in 1612
• Indentured servant. – Believed to have died in 1644 during the period of the Third Anglo-Powhatan War.

Bourbon G. Schitt – [SCH-0026] B1789 †c.1845

  • Husband of Mathilda (Villanueva) Schitt

Boregard Bullion Schitt – [LT GEN – U.S. Cavalry] Civil War – [SCH-0024] B1739 M1764 †1788

  • Husband of Odelina (Medici) Schitt
  • Father of Horace B. Schitt & Bertrum V. Schitt

 Broke P. Schitt – [SCH-0035] B1922 M1949 †UND

  • Husband of Alreda Sue (Lister) Schitt
  • Father of Bunnie Schitt
  • Family recorder

Bull Schitt – [SCH-0008] B1985 M2019

  • Husband of Pisa (Spoor) Schitt
  • Father of Fecilia Rosa Schitt
  • Traveler
  • Given name: Buland.
  • Returned from one of his travels with a goat named Ambassador, whose precise Country of origin was never satisfactorily established.

Bunnie Schitt – [SCH-0036] B1951

  • Daughter of Broke P. Schitt & Alreda Sue (Lister) Schitt

Byrd Schitt-Happens – [SCH-0016] B2006

  • Daughter of Fulla Schitt-Happens & Merle Happens

C

Calamity Cartwright – [CAR-0001] *1850

Caroline Deirdre Sherlock — [SHR-0004] 1955

  • Daughter of Thomas Edward Sherlock and Helen Louise (Riker) Sherlock
  • Sister of Ted Sherlock

Carrie Anne Schitt — [SCH-0065] — 1918
• Delivery lady & quilter
• Remembered as something of a busybody

Chicken Schitt – [SCH-0013] *2007

  • Son of Dip Schitt & Loda (Muck) Schitt
  • Given name: Leghorn — Chicken is easier. Long legs as a boy.

Cedrick Q. Mirefield – [MRF-0002] *1982

  • Husband of Allison Schitt.
  • Accountant

Charles Henry Ironton — [IRO-0001] — 1824 M1845 †c.1869

  • Husband of Patsy Jane (Brampton) Ironton
  • Father of Jacob & Franklin Ironton
  • Tailor

Chester Flemming – [FLE-0001] *1921

  • Husband of Impercunious Lettia Schitt

Christian Martin Helvey — [HEL-0006] B1885 M1909 †1930

  • Husband of Maggie Evelyn (Brown) Helvey

Clara Mae (Hollin) Egesta — [EGE-0008] 1940 M 1958 †1999

  • Wife of Raymond Orville Egesta
  • Mother of Noelle “Noe” Egesta Schitt

Clarence George Whitman — [WHI-0001] — 1930
• Husband of Margaret Ruth (Schitt) Whitman
• Father of Peter Ethan Whitman
• Banker

Clifford Arthur Brown — [BRO-0022] BUND †UND

  • Son of Joseph Lathem & Francis Marjorie (Williams) Brown

Clifford John Ernst — [ERN-0009] B1889 M1917 †1960

  • Husband of Elizabeth Lillian (Hardebeck) Ernst

Cordilia Pearl Schitt — [SCH-0062] — 1929
• Daughter of Bewilder Overawe & Honour May Schitt
• Sister of Awe, Velma Louise & Margaret Ruth

Crystobell (Tinoco) Schitt – [SCH-0042] *1876

  • Wife of Strome Schitt
  • Mother of Allison Schitt & Lucky Schitt

Crockett O. (Orville) Schitt — [SCH-0087] Bc.1805 †c.1851
• Relationship to established Schitt lines presently UNK
• Documented in association with an 1841 property survey
• Appears in several family references simply as Crockett O. Schitt
• Contemporary family accounts suggest he was difficult to deal with
• Precise nature of his involvement in the 1841 property matter remains unclear

Crock O. (Oliver) Schitt – [SCH-0038] *1955

  • Son of Laramie Joe Schitt & Jessabelle Eliene (Hooey) Schitt
  • Acting Archivist

D

Dale “Dim” Schitt — [SCH-0084] 1940 M 1962

  • Husband of Melanie Renae (Gleason) Schitt
  • Father of Dumb Schitt
  • Foundry worker.
  • Carried the same bent iron nail in his pocket for more than twenty years. When asked why, Dim reportedly said, “Might need it.”

Daniel Rosevelt Schitt – {SCH-0075] *1861

  • Husband of Jaqueline Beatrice (Chitty) Schitt

Dawg Schitt-Happens – [SCH-0015] *2004

  • Son of Fulla Schitt-Happens & Merle Happens

Deep Schitt Sr.  [SGT-Army] WWII -[SCH-0059] *1922

  • Relationship unknown.
  • Generations later it is alleged that his grandson Deep Schitt served in the U.S. Army. Several modern search records have inexplicably associated descendants of the Deep Schitt line with military service. The Archives have been unable to collaborate or establish whether this represents an undocumented family member, mistaken identity, or another individual who had the misfortune of sharing the name. No amendment to the official Register has been made.

Deepa “Deep” Aster Schitt — [SCH-0009] *1987 M* 2006
• Wife of Dumb Schitt
• Junior Archivist, Crock O. Schitt Historical Archives.
• Family record researcher and assistant keeper of the Schitt collections.
• Known for pursuing overlooked family records, questionable annotations, and anything Crock forgot where he put it.
• Commonly called “Cousin Deep” by family and Archive staff. Given name: Deepa at birth. Once entered a county pie baking contest despite having never baked a single pie; surviving records conspicuously fail to explain how she placed second.

• Archive note: Deep has demonstrated considerably better judgment than her marriage would suggest.

Detrich Hans Schittner — [SHN-0007] B1682 †c.1685
• Son of Barnard and Thomasina Schittner
• Died in early childhood, approximately age 3

Dewey Cecil Schitt — [SCH-0071] — *1898 *M 1924
• Husband of Wanda Violat (Saunter) Schitt
• County librarian, 1921–1953. – Maintained a handwritten list of books he believed should never be loaned to Schitt’s. The list survives; his reasoning does not.

Dip Schitt – [SCH-0010] *1987

  • Husband of Loda (Muck) Schitt
  • Father of Chicken Schitt
  • Given name: Dimple … GAWD he hated that!
  • Developed an obsessive habit of recording rainfall because he believed the families water well behaved differently immediately before someone made a REALLY bad decision.

Douglas “Doug” Muck — [MUC-0004] *1957 M* 1978

  • Husband of Norma Jean (Stools) Muck
  • Father of Loda Muck Schitt
  • Retail sales

Dorcas L. Pile — [PIL-0017] *1841 †c.1910
• Traveled with Ephraim Schitt
• Ledger-keeper, Little Schitt’s Crossing
• Became good friends with Eliza Mae Stark. – Known to record weather, livestock, debts, and neighborhood disagreements with equal seriousness; rarely devoted more than one sentence to any of them.

Dumb Schitt – [SCH-0011] *1983

  • Husband of Deep Schitt
  • Exact third cousin removed connection remains disputed.
  • Son of Dale & Melanie Schitt.
  • Given name: Dumen – dumb just came naturally.

E

Edgar Chitty — [CHI-0001]— *1835 M*1863 †c. 1900
• Husband of Elouise (McFadden) Chitty
• Father of Jacqueline Beatrice (Chitty) Schitt
• Owned & operated a printing shop in Three Forks, Arkansas – offered SIL a printing job

Edmond Clyde Russell – [RUS-0007] *1849

  • Barber & Undertaker, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Ellen Louise (Utterback) Brewer — [BRE-0029] B1860 M1882 †1963

  • Wife of Raymond Oliver Brewer
  • Mother of Adrian Orville Brewer & Melissa Kathryn Brewer
  • Long-lived member of the Shelby County Brewer family

Elouise (McFadden) Chitty — [CHI-0002] — 1843
• Wife of Edgar Chitty
• Mother of Jacqueline Beatrice (Chitty) Schitt

Elanor Crystal (Peabody) Schitt – [SCH-0076] *1901

  • Wife of Lucky Schitt
  • Nurse

Eligah Schitt – [SCH-0034] *1903

  • Husband of Beatrix (Moneypenny) Schitt
  • Father of Broke P. Schitt

Elizabeth Leslie (Schmergy) Brown — [BRO-0015] B1849 M1868 †1916

  • Wife of Richard Brown
  • Mother of Joseph Lathem Brown

Elizabeth Lillian (Hardebeck) Ernst — [ERN-0010] B1888 M1917 †1976

  • Wife of Clifford John Ernst
  • Writer; known to have used a pen name
  • Some surviving writings concern neighboring families and events; attribution and accuracy remain subject to archival review

Ellie Sue (Collins) Stark – [STA-0008] *1849

  • Wife of Maverick Stark
  • Mother of Margie Elousie Stark
  • Married 1868
  • Inn bookkeeper

Elmer Malarkey – [MAL-0002] *1882

  • Husband of Jaqueline Antoinette (Schitt) Malarkey
  • Father of Tevia Malarkey.
  • Son of Percival & Lettice Malarkey

Emily (Coprolite) Schitt – [SCH-0044] *1903

  • Wife of Mire Schitt
  • mother of Impercunious Lettia Schitt

Emma Lyse Schittner — [SHN-0013] B1692 †c.1695
• Daughter of Barnard and Etheldreda Schittner
• Died in early childhood, approximately age 3

Ephraim “Eph” Schitt — [SCH-0083] 1838 †c.1903
• Third cousin once removed of Wilder N. Schitt
• Cooper / barrel-maker, Little Schitt’s Crossing
• Sweet on Eliza Mae Stark. – Insisted every barrel leaving his shop be struck twice before delivery. Family accounts disagree whether he was testing the barrel or warning whatever was inside.

Etheldreda Marie (Gunther) Schittner — [SHN-0006] B1664 M1689 †c.1704
• Second wife of Barnard Schittner
• Mother of Eva, Lina, Emma and Lore Schittner

Etta Lott Schitt — [SCH-0068] — 1887
• Associated with the Bewilder generation
• Remembered as an excellent cook. – Urged to start “Etta’s Diner” and with her sister Nora, they had a busy diner with some of the best pies in the county!

Eramus Frederick Assman — [ASM-0001] — date unresolved
• German family association
• Possible distant connection to the Asse family remains unresolved

Eva Apollonia Schittner — [SHN-0011] B1687 †c.1692
• Daughter of Barnard and Etheldreda Schittner
• Died in early childhood, approximately age 5

Eunice (Guano) Schitt – [SCH-0043] *1899

  • Wife of Lemuel Schitt
  • Mother of Peruvian Schitt

Ezekiel P. Schitt — [SCH-0086] Bc. 1802 †c. 1850
• Relationship to established Schitt lines presently UNK
• Documented as a witness to Goat Council proceedings, 1832
• Surviving notes attributed to Ezekiel include: “I ain’t sayin the goats voted … I’m merely sayin decisions was made, and every goat seemed pleased with the outcome.”

Marriage: UND.

F

Fanny May (Bottoms) Asse — [ASE-0002] — 1942
• Mother of Anita Kay Asse

Fecilia Rosa Schitt — [SCH-0018] — 2024
• Daughter of Bull & Pisa Schitt

Felipe Lionel Mireille — [MIR-0002] — 1976
• Husband of Leona Mau (Silvester) Mireille
• Father of Leonora Faeleen Mireille

Francis Marjorie (Williams) Brown — [BRO-0017] B1871 M1889 †1919

  • Wife of Joseph Lathem Brown
  • Mother of Arthur Sebastian, Maggie Evelyn, Mary Lorraine, Iola Mary & Clifford Arthur Brown
  • Nurse-maid

Franklin Ironton – [IRO-0004] *1853

  • Son of IRO-0001 & IRO-0002
  • Blacksmith, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Fulla Schitt-Happens – [SCH-0007] *1984

  • Wife of Merle Happens
  • Mother of Dawg & Byrd Schitt–Happens
  • Given name: Fulmala. … no words.
  • Kept every single apology letter she received, but apparently never wrote a single one herself!

G

Giovanni Matteo Spoor — [SPO-0001] 1946 M 1968

  • Husband of Maria Rosa (Schitto) Spoor
  • Father of Pisa Spoor
  • Vineyard laborer
  • Hometown: Frascati, Italy

Geraldine Tess (Rickles) Tickles — [TIC-0002] — date unresolved
• Marriage information remains under reconstruction

Giva Schitt-Happens – [SCH-0006] *1982

  • Wife of Jed Happens
  • Mother of Hoarse Schitt-Happens
  • Given name: Giverny — She hated that!
  • was allegedly responsible for the family’s peculiar tradition of ringing the dinner bell whenever anyone announced they were pregnant.

Gretta Louise Tems – [TEM-0008] *1856

  • Daughter of TEMS-0003
  • Barmaid, Little Schitt’s Saloon

Gregory Titball — [TIT-0001] — date unresolved
• English surname
• Family research notes a Pennsylvania concentration by the 1840s

H

Harold “Hal” Happens — [HAP-0003] 1945 M 1977

  • Husband of Ruth Ellen (Carter) Happens
  • Father of Jed Happens and Merle Happens
  • Mechanic
Harold Arthur Rowan — [ROW-0003] B1983

• Husband of Kathy Jade (Evergreen) Rowan; married 2007
• Father of Molly Bess and Ashley Sage Rowan
• Industrial construction project manager
• Rowan family associated with the Little Schitt area

Heinrich Franklin Schittner — [SHN-0010] B1685 †c.1704
• Son of Barnard and Thomasina Schittner
• Twin brother of Konrad Jorge Schittner
• Died approximately age 19

Helen Louise (Riker) Sherlock — [SHR-0003] 1932 M 1951 †2010

  • Wife of Thomas Edward Sherlock
  • Mother of Ted Sherlock
  • Worked retail

Henry Ledger Schitt — [SCH-0057] — 1814
• Son of Johann Georg Schitt-Talon & Virginia May (Huckabee) Schitt
• Husband of Abigail Ruth (Carter) Schitt
• Accountant & organizer

Henry Waxman – [WAX-0003] *1838

  • Doctor & Apothecary, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Honour May (Grissom) Schitt — [SCH-0061] — 1897
• Wife of Bewilder Overawe Schitt
• Mother of Awe, Cordilia Pearl, Velma Louise & Margaret Ruth

Holy Schitt – [SCH-0005] *1981 †1981

  • Daughter of Jack & Noe (egesta) Schitt
  • Deceased shortly after birth (Bow yer head).
  • Storm clouds dissipated and formed the shape of an angel the evening she passed away.

Hoarse Schitt-Happens – [SCH-0014] *2006

  • Son of Giva Schitt-Happens & Jed Happens

Horace B. Schitt – [SCH-0025] *1763

  • Son of LTGen Boregard Bullion Schitt & Odelina (Medici) Schitt
  • Purveyor of Manure.
  • Chronology Note: Horace B. Schitt (SCH-0025) was born in 1763, preceding the recorded 1764 marriage of his parents, Boregard “Bullion” Schitt (SCH-0024) and Odelina Schitt (SCH-0040). Dates retained as recorded; no discrepancy inferred.

Hugh Givva Schitt — [SCH-0070] — 1875
• Courthouse clerk
• Associated with Little Schitt’s Crossing

I

Impercunious Lettia Schitt – [SCH-0033] *1925

  • Daughter of Mire Schitt & Emily (Coprolite) Schitt
  • Wife of Chester Flemming.
  • Married Chester Flemming shortly before his WWII service. Widowed during the war; inherited the Flemming estate and never remarried. Remembered as particularly devoted to her nieces and nephews.

Iola Mary (Brown) Erion — [BRO-0021] B1895 M1914 †1970

  • Daughter of Joseph Lathem & Francis Marjorie (Williams) Brown
  • Wife of Lawrence Michael Erion

Isaac Walter Schitt — [SCH-0052] — 1623
• Son of Boris E. (Edward) & Maggie Sue Schitt
• One of the earliest documented American-born Schitts. – Believed to have established one surviving family branch. Documentation disappears after childhood, later reconstructed only through fragmentary records.

J

Jack C. [Clay] Schitt – [SCH-0003] *1958

  • Husband of Noe (Egesta) Schitt
  • Father of Holy, Giva, Fulla, Bull, Deep & Dip Schitt
  • Son of Awe & Oh (Midden) Schitt.
  • Once refused to speak to the county tax assessor for 11 months following the taxable status of his outhouse

Jacob Ironton – [IRO-0003] *1847

  • Son of IRO-0001 & IRO-0002
  • Carpenter & Cooper, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Jaqueline Antoinettte (Schitt) Malarkey – [MAL-0003] *1886

  • Wife of Elmer Malarkey
  • Mother of Tevia Malarkey.
  • Daughter of Daniel & Jaqueline Schitt
  • Registry Note — MAL-0003: Subject was born into the Schitt family and is documented as the biological daughter of SCH-0048 and SCH-0075. Her MAL-series designation predates later reconciliation of the Schitt and Malarkey family records and has been retained to preserve existing archival references. The source responsible for the original Malarkey classification has not been conclusively identified.

Jaqueline Beatrice (Chitty) Schitt – [SCH-0048] *1864

  • Wife of Daniel Rosevelt Schitt

Jed Happens – [HAP-0001] *1980

  • Husband of Giva Schitt-Happens
  • Father of Hoarse Schitt-Happens
  • Son of Harold & Ruth Happens

Jedediah “Jed” Schitt — [SCH-0080] 1836 M1857 †c.1900
• Husband of Temperance “Temmy” Grinnell Schitt
• Wheelwright, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Jessabelle Eliene (Hooey) Schitt – [SCH-0047] *1930

  • Wife of Laramie Joe Schitt
  • Mother of Crock O. Schitt

Jennifer “Jenny” (Newberry) Talia — ID PENDING — date unresolved
• Family placement remains under development

Jock Oakley Schitt — [SCH-0073] — 1723
• Family tradition identifies him as a second cousin of Amos Leam Schitt
• Exact relationship remains under reconstruction

Johann Grismiller – [GRI-0003] *1835

  • Miller, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Jesse James Gultch – [GUL-0008] *1839

  • Proprietor, Little Schitt’s Saloon

Rev. Josiah Pruitt — [PRU-0016] 1746 †c.1805
• Rector / minister
• Associated with early Schitt family records

Johann Georg Schitt-Talon — [TAL-0002] — 1783
• Son of Mathew David Talon & Opulence Fancy Schitt
• Husband of Virginia May (Huckabee) Schitt
• Father of Henry Ledger Schitt. – Worked cleaning horse stables during his youth. Family tradition credits Johann with recognizing the value of composted manure for improving poor soils long before most neighboring farms adopted the practice.

Joseph Lathem Brown — [BRO-0016] B1868 M1889 †1937

  • Son of Richard & Elizabeth Leslie (Schmergy) Brown
  • Husband of Francis Marjorie (Williams) Brown
  • Father of Arthur Sebastian, Maggie Evelyn, Mary Lorraine, Iola Mary & Clifford Arthur Brown
  • Machinist

K

Kathy Jade (Evergreen) Rowan — [ROW-0004] B1986

• Wife of Harold Arthur Rowan; married 2007
• Mother of Molly Bess and Ashley Sage Rowan
• Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN), working part time
• Rowan family associated with the Little Schitt area

Kay Rita (Brewer) Osborne — [BRE-0032] B1908 †1991

  • Daughter of Adrian Orville & Saundra Gail (Thacker) Brewer
  • Wife of [OSB-0004]

Konrad Jorge Schittner — [SHN-0009] B1685
• Son of Barnard and Thomasina Schittner
• Twin brother of Heinrich Franklin Schittner
• Later life and date of death UND

L

Laramie Joe Schitt – [SCH-0037] *1926

  • Husband of Jessabelle Eliene (Hooey) Schitt
  • Father of Crock O. Schitt

Lawrence Michael Erion — [ERI-0001] B1893 M1914 †1994

  • Husband of Iola Mary (Brown) Erion
  • Railroad

Lemuel Schitt – [SCH-0030] *1898

  • Husband of Eunice (Guano) Schitt
  • Father of Peruvian Schitt

Leona Mau (Silvester) Mireille — [MIR-0001] — 1978
• Wife of Felipe Lionel Mireille
• Mother of Leonora Faeleen Mireille

Leonora Faeleen Mireille — [MIR-0003] — 2005
• Daughter of Felipe Lionel & Leona Mau Mireille
• School acquaintance and apparent sweetheart of Dawg Schitt-Happens

Father Lester Muldunny – [MUL-0003] *1840

  • Priest, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Lester Rodney Happens – [HAP-0008] *1831

  • Happens family money from cotton back east

Lettice Clara (Pratt) Malarkey — [MAL-0005] — 1843 †c.1896

  • Wife of Percival Simon Malarkey Jr.
  • Mother of Percival Malarkey
  • Midwife

Lina Schittner — [SHN-0012] B1688
• Daughter of Barnard and Etheldreda Schittner
• Later life and date of death UND

Loda (Muck) Schitt – [SCH-0012] *1988

  • Wife of Dip Schitt
  • mother of Chicken Schitt
  • Daughter of Douglas & Norma Muck.
  • Given name: Lohitha — Loda is easier.

Lore Schittner — [SHN-0014] B1693 †c.1733
• Daughter of Barnard and Etheldreda Schittner
• Surviving records of her later life remain fragmentary

Lucky Schitt – [PVT- Army] WWI – [SCH-0029] *1900

  • Husband of Elanor Crystal (Peabody) Schitt
  • Son of Strome & Crystobell (Tinoco) Schitt

M

Magdalena Clare Schittner — [SHN-0008] B1683
• Daughter of Barnard and Thomasina Schittner
• Seamstress; associated with wig work
• Later life and date of death UND

Maggie Evelyn (Brown) Helvey — [BRO-0019] B1890 M1909 †1929

  • Daughter of Joseph Lathem & Francis Marjorie (Williams) Brown
  • Wife of Christian Martin Helvey

Maggie Sue (Albert) Schitt — [SCH-0050] — 1601
• Wife of Boris E. (Edward) Schitt
• Mother of Mary Beth & Isaac Walter
• Arrived in America in 1619
• Remembered as quiet, grounded, practical & resourceful. – Arrived in Virginia in 1619 among the women sent to establish permanent colonial households.

Margie Elousie Stark – [STA-0009] *1872

  • Daughter of Maverick & Ellie Sue Stark

Marie Sue Brewer — [BRE-0033] B1909 †1977

  • Daughter of Adrian Orville & Saundra Gail (Thacker) Brewer
  • Sister of Kay Rita (Brewer) Osborne

Margaret Ruth (Schitt) Whitman — [SCH-0064] — 1938
• Daughter of Bewilder Overawe & Honour May Schitt
• Sister of Awe, Cordilia Pearl & Velma Louise
• Wife of Clarence George Whitman
• Mother of Peter Ethan Whitman

Maria Rosa (Schitto) Spoor — [SPO-0002] 1949 M 1968

  • Wife of Giovanni Matteo Spoor
  • Mother of Pisa Spoor
  • Possible distant Schitt-family relationship; unconfirmed

Martha Eloise (Fokker) Schitt — [SCH-0074] — *1892 M*1914 † 1960
• Wife of Otto B. Schitt
• Lived near an airfield and loved aviation
• Learned repair work alongside Otto and had a talent for solving mechanical problems

Martha Lou Schitt — [SCH-0082] 1843 †c.1910
• Traveled with Jedediah and Temperance Schitt from Illinois
• Town crier / public announcer, Little Schitt’s Crossing
• Possible second cousin of Wilder N. Schitt

Mary Beth Schitt — [SCH-0051] — 1621
• Daughter of Boris E. (Edward) & Maggie Sue Schitt
• One of the earliest documented American-born Schitts. – One of the two earliest documented American-born Schitts. Later records lost during the Great Goat Incident.

Mary Lorraine Brown — [BRO-0020] B1892 †1980

  • Daughter of Joseph Lathem & Francis Marjorie (Williams) Brown

Mary Ruth (Hayes) Brown — [HAY-0011] B1890 M1909 †1946

  • Wife of Arthur Sebastian Brown

Mathew David Talon — [TAL-0001] — 1748
• Husband of Opulence Fancy Schitt
• Father of Johann Georg Schitt-Talon
• Gambler who “fancied Fancy”
• Tombstone discovered bearing the 1791 date and Fancy’s name

Mathilda (Villanueva) Schitt – [SCH-0041] *1772

  • Wife of Bourbon G. Schitt

Maverick Stark – [STA-0007] *1842

  • Husband of Ellie Sue (Collins) Stark
  • Father of Margie Elousie Stark
  • Inn, Hotel & Livery, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Melanie Renae (Gleason) Schitt — [SCH-0085] 1942 M 1962

  • Wife of Dale “Dim” Schitt
  • Mother of Dumb Schitt
  • Homemaker

Melissa Kathryn Brewer — [BRE-0034] B1884 †1917

  • Daughter of Raymond Oliver & Ellen Louise (Utterback) Brewer
  • Sister of Adrian Orville Brewer

Merle Happens – [HAP-0002] *1981

  • Husband of Fulla Schitt-Happens
  • Father of Dawg & Byrd Schitt-Happens
  • Son of Harold & Ruth Happens
Mire Schitt – [SCH-0032] *1902
  • Husband of Emily (Coprolite) Schitt
  • Father of Impercunious Lettia Schitt
Molly Bess Rowan — [ROW-0005] B2008

• Daughter of Harold Arthur and Kathy Jade (Evergreen) Rowan
• Older sister of Ashley Sage Rowan
• Active in 4-H
• First member of her 4-H class to enter a mule
• Currently dating Hoarse Schitt; the two attended Prom together

Molly (Schetter) Scheister – [SHT-0002] *

  • Wife of Ben Scheister

N

Nancy Lynne Asse — [ASE-0004] *1965
  • Daughter of Arthur Douglas Asse [ASE-0001] and Fanny May (Bottoms) Asse [ASE-0002].
  • Younger sister of Anita Kay Asse [ASE-0003].
  • Frequently cited in later family accounts as a source of otherwise undocumented family information.
  • Demonstrated an unusually persistent memory for conversations, social incidents, and matters other family members considered private.
  • Several accounts attributed to Nancy have subsequently been corroborated by independent records.
  • Others remain entirely Nancy’s fault.

Registry Note — ASE-0004: Nancy’s value as a family source has historically been complicated by her apparent inability to distinguish between information entrusted to her and information she believed everyone else ought to know. Although individual claims attributed to Nancy require independent verification, the Archives has found insufficient cause to dismiss them solely because Nancy was the one who said it.

Associated Record: Her account concerning sister Anita’s college acquaintance with Crock remains preserved in the family record.

Noe (Egesta) Schitt – [SCH-0004] *1960

  • Wife of Jack Schitt
  • Mother of Holy, Giva, Fulla, Bull, Deep & Dip Schitt
  • Later married Ted Sherlock
  • Name changed to: Noe Schitt-Sherlock
  • Given name: Noelle — Two fights later she dropped it.
  • Daughter of Raymond & Clara Egesta.
  • Divorced Jack – 2009; Married Ted Sherlock 2009.
  • maintained a household handwritten rule that no one was permitted to discuss family finances while biscuits were on the table.

Norma Jean (Stools) Muck — [MUC-0005] 1959 M 1978

  • Wife of Douglas “Doug” Muck
  • Mother of Loda Muck Schitt
  • Homemaker

Nora Belle Schitt — [SCH-0069] — 1903
• Unmarried cousin

O

Odelina (Medici) Schitt – [SCH-0040] *1745

  • Wife of LT Gen Boregard Bullion Schitt
  • mother of Horace B. & Bertram V. Schitt

OH (Midden) Schitt – [SCH-0002] *1937

  • Wife of Awe Schitt
  • Mother of Jack Schitt
  • Given name: Orfhlaith — Hated it.
  • Grammy OH kept a small brass handbell beside her chair. She supposedly rang it once when Awe was about to do something REALLY foolish & twice when it was already too late. No one ever recalls hearing it just once!

Ophelia (Chier) Midden – [MID-0002] *1915

  • Wife of Benjamine Midden

Opulence Fancy Schitt — [SCH-0055] — 1755
• Daughter of Amos Leam & Rebecca Noe Schitt
• Wife of Mathew David Talon
• Mother of Johann Georg Schitt-Talon
• Tavern maiden. – Family tradition holds that Opulence refused to answer to “Fancy” after age twelve, although surviving correspondence suggests nearly everyone continued using it.

Otto B. Schitt — [SCH-0067] — 1889
• Husband of Martha Eloise (Fokker) Schitt
• Machinist & tinkerer
• Fascinated with aircraft

P

Parrot Schitt – [SCH-0020] *1849

  • Husband of Polly (Bird) Schitt
  • Son of Bartholomew & Prudence Mercy (Smith) Schitt.
  • Last seen & believed lost somewhere in Arkansas with Polly.

Patsy Jane (Brampton) Ironton — [IRO-0002] — 1826 M1845 †c.1878

  • Wife of Charles Henry Ironton
  • Mother of Jacob & Franklin Ironton
  • Chicken keeper

Percival Simon Malarkey Jr. —[MAL-0004] — 1839 †c.1891

  • Husband of Lettice Clara (Pratt) Malarkey
  • Father of Percival Malarkey
  • Painter / plaster mason

Peter Ethan Whitman — [WHI-0002] — 1958
• Son of Clarence George & Margaret Ruth (Schitt) Whitman

Peruvian Schitt – [SCH-0031] *1926

  • Daughter of Lemuel & Eunice (Gurano) Schitt

Pisa (Spoor) Schitt – [SCH-0017] *1996

  • Wife of Bull Schitt
  • Mother of Fecilia Rosa Schitt
  • Daughter of Giovanni & Maria Spoor

Polly (Bird) Schitt – [SCH-0022] *1854

  • Wife of Parrot Schitt.
  • Last seen & believed lost somewhere in Arkansas with Parrot.
  • Daughter of Alonzo & Ava Bird

Prudence Mercy (Smith) Schitt – [SMI-0001] 1832

  • Wife of Bartholomew Schitt
  • Mother of Parrot Schitt

R

Raymond Oliver Brewer — [BRE-0028] B1858 M1882 †1948

  • Husband of Ellen Louise (Utterback) Brewer
  • Father of Adrian Orville Brewer & Melissa Kathryn Brewer
  • Livery & stable keeper
  • Generally dependable with horses; considerably less enthusiastic about goats

Raymond Orville Egesta — [EGE-0007] 1938 M 1958 †2002

  • Husband of Clara Mae (Hollin) Egesta
  • Father of Noelle “Noe” Egesta Schitt

Rebecca Anne (Chalk) Wainwright – [WAI-0001] *

  • Schoolteacher

Rebecca Noe (Shekels) Schitt — [SCH-0054] — 1731
• Wife of Amos Leam Schitt
• Mother of Opulence Fancy Schitt
• Her father owned the disputed boundary fence
• Spirited & resourceful; revered for her quilting. – Family tradition maintains she married Amos despite her father’s objections following the boundary fence dispute.

Richard Brown — [BRO-0014] B1846 M1868 †1890

  • Husband of Elizabeth Leslie (Schmergy) Brown
  • Father of Joseph Lathem Brown

Ruth Ellen (Carter) Happens — [HAP-0004] 1947 M 1977

  • Wife of Harold “Hal” Happens
  • Mother of Jed Happens and Merle Happens
  • Seamstress

S

Saundra Gail (Thacker) Brewer — [BRE-0031] B1888 M1906 †1975

  • Wife of Adrian Orville Brewer
  • Mother of Kay Rita Brewer & Marie Sue Brewer

Sharon (Kak) Schitt – [SCH-0077] *

  • Relationship presently under investigation

Simon Willem Quackenbush — [QUA-0001] — B1836 † c.1900
• Merchant & landowner – generous Dutchman
• Proprietor of the mercantile associated with Little Schitt’s Crossing C. 1872.

Strome Schitt – [SCH-0028] B1869

  • Husband of Crystobell (Tinoco) Schitt
  • Father of Allison & Lucky Schitt

T

Ted Sherlock – [SHK-0001] B1953

  • Second Husband of Noe Schitt-Sherlock
  • Son of Thomas & Helen Sherlock

Temperance “Temmy” Grinnell Schitt — [SCH-0081] B1838 M1857 †c.1908
• Wife of Jedediah “Jed” Schitt
• Cook/caretaker; helped in Maverick Stark’s Hotel. – Reportedly kept a wooden spoon behind the hotel desk specifically for settling arguments that had survived supper.

Thomas Edward Sherlock — [SHK-0002] B1930 M 1951 †1987

  • Husband of Helen Louise (Riker) Sherlock
  • Father of Ted Sherlock
  • Enlisted 1948–1950; Korea
  • Machinist

Thomasina Bytzel (Jager) Schittner — [SHN-0005] B1661 M1680 †c.1685
• First wife of Barnard Schittner
• Mother of Detrich, Magdalena, Konrad and Heinrich Schittner
• Konrad and Heinrich were twins
• Died c.1685 following their birth

Tevia Malarkey – [MAL-0001] B1906

  • Son of Elmer & Jaqueline Malarkey

V

Velma Louise Schitt — [SCH-0063] — B1937
• Daughter of Bewilder Overawe & Honour May Schitt
• Sister of Awe, Cordilia Pearl & Margaret Ruth
Virginia May (Huckabee) Schitt — [SCH-0056] — B1792
• Wife of Johann Georg Schitt-Talon
• Mother of Henry Ledger Schitt
• Prized pie maker. – Virginia was remembered for keeping the first organized family register, preserving what fragments remained after generations of scattered records and family stories.

W

Wanda Violat (Saunter) Schitt — [SCH-0072] — B1901 *M 1924
• Wife of Dewey Cecil Schitt
• Kept cats… LOTS of cats
Willie Mae Schitt — [SCH-0066] — B1904
• Unmarried aunt/cousin
Wilder N. Schitt – [SCH-0019] B1834 †1893
  • Distant cousin of Parrot Schitt; believed descended from a collateral Old World Schitt limb. Exact limb is still disputed.
  • Founder of Little Schitt’s Crossing.
  • Parents: Identities presently unresolved
    Marriage: None established
    Children: None established.
    General status: Lifelong bachelor insofar as surviving records presently demonstrate.
  • Wilder never married, although surviving accounts suggest this should not be mistaken for a lack of opportunity, interest, or company. Several women appear intermittently around the edges of his story, seldom with enough surviving detail to establish much beyond the fact that Uncle Wilder was apparently not spending all of his evenings discussing goats – Until such time as the Archives can establish otherwise, however, any suggestion concerning the precise nature of these relationships remains circumstantial at best., but until such time as we can prove it, it’s circumstantial at best.

Archive Status

Current Register Revision: v414C

Last Updated: August 2026

Maintained By: Crock O. Schitt Historical Archives

Register Status: ACTIVE

Additional records remain under investigation.

NOW, if’n yer lookin’ fer goats, ya gotta wander up top ta the Archives n’ pick ’em, they ain’t jus gunna show up fer ya. Goats are Goats!

A Note Regarding Missing Numbers

Some identification numbers within this Register do not appear sequentially. This is intentional. Unassigned numbers have been retained where records suggest additional family members may exist but have not yet been sufficiently documented for inclusion.

— Deep Schitt, Assistant Family Records Coordinator

Ain’t missin’. Jus ain’t found ’em yet.
— Crock O. Schitt

That is precisely what “missing” means.
— D.S.

No. Missin’ means we HAD it n’ lost it. We ain’t had these yet.
— C.O.S.

Please stop writing on my catalog notes.
— D.S.

Then quit leavin’ blank spots.
— C.O.S.