The Crock O. Schitt Historical Archives Master Name Index

(Alphabetical Canon Register)

Crock Introduction

Compiled from family Bibles (bow yer head), county records, church ledgers, tavern receipts, disputed testimony, chicken-damaged notebooks, and other historical sources of questionable reliability.

These here records represent the current official register maintained by the Crock O. Schitt Historical Archives. New discoveries, marriages, births, corrections, and long-lost relatives will be added as records surface—or somebody finally remembers where Granny hid ’em.

Records are records.

— Crock O. Schitt, Acting Archivist

EDITOR’S NOTE:
Names is printed in bold on account o’ this family branches like swamp mangroves. Without the bold print, readers was gettin’ lost, accidentally marryin’ cousins, and blamin’ the author. We fixed what we could.

Archivist’s Note:
“Researchers frequently question why so many members of the Schitt family appear in surviving records to possess unusual nicknames. Surviving correspondence suggests the family had an established tradition of shortening perfectly respectable given names into something considerably less dignified.”

Signed,

— Evelyn Grace, Acting Chief Archivist

With Cousin Deep penciling in the margin:

“Mama tried. The family didn’t.”

A

Abigail Ruth (Carter) Schitt – [SCH-0058] *1816

Wife of Henry Ledger Schitt
Great Goat incident of 1886!

Allison Schitt – Mirefield – [MRF-0001] *1897

Daughter of Strome Schitt & Crystobell (Tinoco) Schitt.
Wife of Cedrick Q. Mirefield

Alreda Sue (Lister) Schitt – [SCH-0046] *1926

Wife of Broke P. Schitt
Mother of Bunnie Schitt

Amos Leam Schitt — [SCH-0053] * 1718
• Husband of Rebecca Noe (Shekels) Schitt
• Father of Opulence Fancy Schitt
• First documented in a County Sheriff record concerning a damaged boundary fence
• Judge ordered repairs to the shared boundary fence

Anita Kay Asse — [ASS-0003] * 1961
• Daughter of Arthur Douglas Asse & Fanny May (Bottoms) Asse
• Early relationship with Crock Schitt
• Subsequent correspondence reportedly lost; circumstances disputed

Arthur Douglas Asse – [ASS-0001] *1939

Husband of Fanny May (Bottoms) Asse
Father of Anita Kay Asse

Ashley W. Schitt – [SCH-0023] *1712

Husband of Bonnie (Butler) Schitt
Father of LTGen Boregard Bullion Schitt

Awe Schitt – [SCH-0001] *1936

Husband of OH (Midden) Schitt
Father of Jack Schitt
“King of Manure”
Son of Bewilder O. & Honour M. Schitt
Maternal identity & marriage record remain under investigation.
Given name: Awaan – Mom probably read Arabian Nights.

B

Bartholomew Juleous Schitt– [SCH-0021] *1829

Husband of Prudence Mercy (Smith) Schitt
Earliest documented colonial Schitt
Father of Parrot Schitt
Son of Henry L. & Abigail R. Schitt

Beatrix (Moneypenny) Schitt – [SCH-0045] *1897

Wife of Eligah Schitt
Mother of Broke P. Schitt

Ben Scheister – [SHT-0001] *

Husband of Molly (Schetter) Scheister

Benjamine Midden – [MID-0001] *1912

Husband of Ophelia (Chier) Midden
Father of OH (Midden) Schitt
Started Needeep N. Midden, Inc.

Bertram V. Schitt – [SCH-0027] *1811

Brother of Horace B. Schitt
Son of Boregard Bullion Schitt & Odelina (Medici) Schitt
County Surveyor

Bewilder Overawe Schitt — SCH-0060 — 1891
• Husband of Honour May (Grissom) Schitt
• Father of Awe, Cordilia Pearl, Velma Louise & Margaret Ruth
• Farmer & cattle rancher

Bonnie (Butler) Schitt – [SCH-0039] *1955

Wife of Ashley W. Schitt
Mother of Boregard Bullion Schitt

Boris E. (Edward) Schitt — SCH-0049 — 1591
• Husband of Maggie Sue (Albert) Schitt
• Father of Mary Beth & Isaac Walter
• Arrived in America in 1612
• Indentured servant

Bourbon G. Schitt – [SCH-0026] *1789

Husband of Mathilda (Villanueva) Schitt

Boregard Bullion Schitt – [LT GEN – U.S. Cavalry] Civil War – [SCH-0024] *1739

Husband of Odelina (Medici) Schitt
Father of Horace B. Schitt & Bertrum V. Schitt

Broke P. Schitt – [SCH-0035] *1922

Husband of Alreda Sue (Lister) Schitt
Father of Bunnie Schitt
Family recorder

Bull Schitt – [SCH-0008] *1985

Husband of Pisa (Spoor) Schitt
Father of Fecilia Rosa Schitt
Traveler
Given name: Buland.

Bunnie Schitt – [SCH-0036] *1951

Daughter of Broke P. Schitt & Alreda Sue (Lister) Schitt

Byrd Schitt-Happens – [SCH-0016] *2006

Daughter of Fulla Schitt-Happens & Merle Happens

C

Calamity Cartwright – [CAR-0001] *1850

Carrie Anne Schitt — SCH-0065 — 1918
• Delivery lady & quilter
• Remembered as something of a busybody

Chicken Schitt – [SCH-0013] *2007

Son of Dip Schitt & Loda (Muck) Schitt
Given name: Leghorn — Chicken is easier. Long legs as a boy.

Cedrick Q. Mirefield – [MRF-0002] *1982

Husband of Allison Schitt.
Accountant

Chester Flemming – [FLE-0001] *1921

Husband of Impercunious Lettia Schitt

Clarence George Whitman — WHI-0001 — 1930
• Husband of Margaret Ruth (Schitt) Whitman
• Father of Peter Ethan Whitman
• Banker

Cordilia Pearl Schitt — SCH-0062 — 1929
• Daughter of Bewilder Overawe & Honour May Schitt
• Sister of Awe, Velma Louise & Margaret Ruth

Crystobell (Tinoco) Schitt – [SCH-0042] *1876

Wife of Strome Schitt
Mother of Allison Schitt & Lucky Schitt

Crock O. Schitt – [SCH-0038] *1955

Son of Laramie Joe Schitt & Jessabelle Eliene (Hooey) Schitt
Acting Archivist

D

Daniel Rosevelt Schitt – {SCH-0075] *1861

Husband of Jaqueline Beatrice (Chitty) Schitt

Dawg Schitt-Happens – [SCH-0015] *2004

Son of Fulla Schitt-Happens & Merle Happens

Deep Schitt Sr. [SGT-Army] WWII -[SCH-0059] *1922

Relationship unknown

Deep Aster Schitt – [SCH-0009] *1987

Wife of Dumb Schitt
Given name: Deepa.

Dewey Cecil Schitt — SCH-0071 — 1898
• Married in 1924
• County librarian, 1921–1953

Dip Schitt – [SCH-0010] *1987

Husband of Loda (Muck) Schitt
Father of Chicken Schitt
Given name: Dimple … GAWD she hated that!

Dumb Schitt – [SCH-0011] *1983

Husband of Deep Schitt
Exact third cousin removed connection remains disputed.
Given name: Dumen – dumb just came naturally.

E

Edgar Chitty — CHI-0001 — 1835
• Husband of Elouise (McFadden) Chitty
• Father of Jacqueline Beatrice (Chitty) Schitt
• Owned & operated a printing shop in Three Forks, Arkansas

Edmond Clyde Russell – [RUS-0007] *1849

Barber & Undertaker, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Elouise (McFadden) Chitty — CHI-0002 — 1843
• Wife of Edgar Chitty
• Mother of Jacqueline Beatrice (Chitty) Schitt

Elanor Crystal (Peabody) Schitt – [SCH-0076] *1901

Wife of Lucky Schitt
Nurse

Eligah Schitt – [SCH-0034] *1903

Husband of Beatrix (Moneypenny) Schitt
Father of Broke P. Schitt

Ellie Sue (Collins) Stark – [STA-0008] *1849

Wife of Maverick Stark
Mother of Margie Elousie Stark
Married 1868
Inn bookkeeper

Elmer Malarkey – [MAL-0002] *1882

Husband of Jaqueline Antoinette (Schitt) Malarkey
Father of Tevia Malarkey

Emily (Coprolite) Schitt – [SCH-0044] *1903

Wife of Mire Schitt
mother of Impercunious Lettia Schitt

Etta Lott Schitt — SCH-0068 — 1887
• Associated with the Bewilder generation
• Remembered as an excellent cook

Eramus Frederick Assman — ID PENDING — date unresolved
• German family association
• Possible distant connection to the Asse family remains unresolved

Eunice (Guano) Schitt – [SCH-0043] *1899

Wife of Lemuel Schitt
Mother of Peruvian Schitt

F

Fanny May (Bottoms) Asse — ASS-0002 — 1942
• Mother of Anita Kay Asse

Fecilia Rosa Schitt — SCH-0018 — 2024
• Daughter of Bull & Pisa Schitt

Felipe Lionel Mireille — MIR-0002 — 1976
• Husband of Leona Mau (Silvester) Mireille
• Father of Leonora Faeleen Mireille

Franklin Ironton – [IRO-0004] *1853

Son of IRO-0001 & IRO-0002
Blacksmith, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Fulla Schitt-Happens – [SCH-0007] *1984

Wife of Merle Happens
Mother of Dawg & Byrd Schitt–Happens
Given name: Fulmala. … no words

G

Geraldine Tess (Rickles) Tickles — ID PENDING — date unresolved
• Marriage information remains under reconstruction

Giva Schitt-Happens – [SCH-0006] *1982

Wife of Jed Happens
Mother of Hoarse Schitt-Happens
Given name: Giverny — She hated that.

Gretta Louise Tems – [TEM-0008] *1856

Daughter of TEMS-0003
Barmaid, Little Schitt’s Saloon

Gregory Titball — ID PENDING — date unresolved
• English surname
• Family research notes a Pennsylvania concentration by the 1840s

H

Henry Ledger Schitt — SCH-0057 — 1814
• Son of Johann Georg Schitt-Talon & Virginia May (Huckabee) Schitt
• Husband of Abigail Ruth (Carter) Schitt
• Accountant & organizer

Henry Waxman – [WAX-0003] *1838

Doctor & Apothecary, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Honour May (Grissom) Schitt — SCH-0061 — 1897
• Wife of Bewilder Overawe Schitt
• Mother of Awe, Cordilia Pearl, Velma Louise & Margaret Ruth

Holy Schitt – SCH-0005] *1981

Daughter of Jack & Noe (egesta) Schitt
Deceased shortly after birth (Bow yer head)

Hoarse Schitt-Happens – [SCH-0014] *2006

Son of Giva Schitt-Happens & Jed Happens

Horace B. Schitt – [SCH-0025] *1763

Son of LTGen Boregard Bullion Schitt & Odelina (Medici) Schitt
Purveyor of Manure

Hugh Givva Schitt — SCH-0070 — 1875
• Courthouse clerk
• Associated with Little Schitt’s Crossing

I

Impercunious Lettia Schitt – [SCH-0033] *1925

Daughter of Mire Schitt & Emily (Coprolite) Schitt
Wife of Chester Flemming

Isaac Walter Schitt — SCH-0052 — 1623
• Son of Boris E. (Edward) & Maggie Sue Schitt
• One of the earliest documented American-born Schitts

J

Jack C. Schitt – [SCH-0003] *1958

Husband of Noe (Egesta) Schitt
Father of Holy, Giva, Fulla, Bull, Deep & Dip Schitt
Son of Awe & Oh (Midden) Schitt

Jacob Ironton – [IRO-0003] *1847

Son of IRO-0001 & IRO-0002
Carpenter & Cooper, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Jaqueline Antoinettte (Schitt) Malarkey – [MAL-0003] *1886

Wife of Elmer Malarkey
Mother of Tevia Malarkey

Jaqueline Beatrice (Chitty) Schitt – [SCH-0048] *1864

Wife of Daniel Rosevelt Schitt

Jed Happens – [HAP-0001] *1980

Husband of Giva Schitt-Happens
Father of Hoarse Schitt-Happens

Jessabelle Eliene (Hooey) Schitt – [SCH-0047] *1930

Wife of Laramie Joe Schitt
Mother of Crock O. Schitt

Jennifer “Jenny” (Newberry) Talia — ID PENDING — date unresolved
• Family placement remains under development

Jock Oakley Schitt — SCH-0073 — 1723
• Family tradition identifies him as a second cousin of Amos Leam Schitt
• Exact relationship remains under reconstruction

Johann Grismiller – [GRI-0003] *1835

Miller, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Jesse James Gultch – [GUL-0008] *1839

Proprietor, Little Schitt’s Saloon

Johann Georg Schitt-Talon — TAL-0002 — 1783
• Son of Mathew David Talon & Opulence Fancy Schitt
• Husband of Virginia May (Huckabee) Schitt
• Father of Henry Ledger Schitt

L

Laramie Joe Schitt – [SCH-0037] *1926

Husband of Jessabelle Eliene (Hooey) Schitt
Father of Crock O. Schitt

Lemuel Schitt – [SCH-0030] *1898

Husband of Eunice (Guano) Schitt
Father of Peruvian Schitt

Leona Mau (Silvester) Mireille — MIR-0001 — 1978
• Wife of Felipe Lionel Mireille
• Mother of Leonora Faeleen Mireille

Leonora Faeleen Mireille — MIR-0003 — 2005
• Daughter of Felipe Lionel & Leona Mau Mireille
• School acquaintance and apparent sweetheart of Dawg Schitt-Happens

Father Lester Muldunny – [MUL-0003] *1840

Priest, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Lester Rodney Happens – [HAP-0008] *1831

Happens family money from cotton back east

Loda (Muck) Schitt – [SCH-0012] *1988

Wife of Dip Schitt
mother of Chicken Schitt
Given name: Lohitha — Loda is easier.

Lucky Schitt – [PVT- Army] WWI – [SCH-0029] *1900

Husband of Elanor Crystal (Peabody) Schitt
Son of Strome & Crystobell (Tinoco) Schitt

M

Maggie Sue (Albert) Schitt — SCH-0050 — 1601
• Wife of Boris E. (Edward) Schitt
• Mother of Mary Beth & Isaac Walter
• Arrived in America in 1619
• Remembered as quiet, grounded, practical & resourceful

Margie Elousie Stark – [STA-0009] *1872

Daughter of Maverick & Ellie Sue Stark

Margaret Ruth (Schitt) Whitman — SCH-0064 — 1938
• Daughter of Bewilder Overawe & Honour May Schitt
• Sister of Awe, Cordilia Pearl & Velma Louise
• Wife of Clarence George Whitman
• Mother of Peter Ethan Whitman

Martha Eloise (Fokker) Schitt — SCH-0074 — 1892
• Wife of Otto B. Schitt
• Lived near an airfield and loved aviation
• Learned repair work alongside Otto and had a talent for solving mechanical problems

Mary Beth Schitt — SCH-0051 — 1621
• Daughter of Boris E. (Edward) & Maggie Sue Schitt
• One of the earliest documented American-born Schitts

Mathew David Talon — TAL-0001 — 1748
• Husband of Opulence Fancy Schitt
• Father of Johann Georg Schitt-Talon
• Gambler who “fancied Fancy”
• Tombstone discovered bearing the 1791 date and Fancy’s name

Mathilda (Villanueva) Schitt – [SCH-0041] *1772

Wife of Bourbon G. Schitt

Maverick Stark – [STA-0007] *1842

Husband of Ellie Sue (Collins) Stark
Father of Margie Elousie Stark
Inn, Hotel & Livery, Little Schitt’s Crossing

Merle Happens – [HAP-0002] *1981

Husband of Fulla Schitt-Happens
Father of Dawg & Byrd Schitt-Happens

Mire Schitt – [SCH-0032] *1902

Husband of Emily (Coprolite) Schitt
Father of Impercunious Lettia Schitt

Molly (Schetter) Scheister – [SHT-0002] *

Wife of Ben Scheister

N

Noe (Egesta) Schitt – [SCH-0004] *1960

Wife of Jack Schitt
Mother of Holy, Giva, Fulla, Bull, Deep & Dip Schitt
Later married Ted Sherlock
Name changed to: Noe Schitt-Sherlock
Given name: Noelle — Two fights later she dropped it.

Nora Belle Schitt — SCH-0069 — 1903
• Unmarried cousin

O

Odelina (Medici) Schitt – [SCH-0040] *1745

Wife of LT Gen Boregard Bullion Schitt
mother of Horace B. & Bertram V. Schitt

OH (Midden) Schitt – [SCH-0002] *1937

Wife of Awe Schitt
Mother of Jack Schitt
Given name: Orfhlaith — Hated it.

Ophelia (Chier) Midden – [MID-0002] *1915

Wife of Benjamine Midden

Opulence Fancy Schitt — SCH-0055 — 1755
• Daughter of Amos Leam & Rebecca Noe Schitt
• Wife of Mathew David Talon
• Mother of Johann Georg Schitt-Talon
• Tavern maiden

Otto B. Schitt — SCH-0067 — 1889
• Husband of Martha Eloise (Fokker) Schitt
• Machinist & tinkerer
• Fascinated with aircraft

P

Parrot Schitt – [SCH-0020] *1849

Husband of Polly (Bird) Schitt
Son of Bartholomew & Prudence Mercy (Smith) Schitt

Peter Ethan Whitman — WHI-0002 — 1958
• Son of Clarence George & Margaret Ruth (Schitt) Whitman

Peruvian Schitt – [SCH-0031] *1926

Daughter of Lemuel & Eunice (Gurano) Schitt

Pisa (Spoor) Schitt – [SCH-0017] *1996

Wife of Bull Schitt
Mother of Fecilia Rosa Schitt

Polly (Bird) Schitt – [SCH-0022] *1854

Wife of Parrot Schitt

Prudence Mercy (Smith) Schitt – [SMI-0001] 1832

Wife of Bartholomew Schitt
Mother of Parrot Schitt

R

Rebecca Anne (Chalk) Wainwright – [WAI-0001] *

Schoolteacher

Rebecca Noe (Shekels) Schitt — SCH-0054 — 1731
• Wife of Amos Leam Schitt
• Mother of Opulence Fancy Schitt
• Her father owned the disputed boundary fence
• Spirited & resourceful; revered for her quilting

S

Sharon (Kak) Schitt – [SHI-0077] *

Relationship presently under investigation

Simon Willem Quackenbush — ID PENDING — 1836
• Merchant & landowner
• Proprietor of the mercantile associated with Little Schitt’s Crossing

Strome Schitt – [SCH-0028] *1869

Husband of Crystobell (Tinoco) Schitt
Father of Allison & Lucky Schitt

T

Ted Sherlock – [SHR-0001] *1953

Second Husband of Noe Schitt-Sherlock

Tevia Malarkey – [MAL-0001] *1906

Son of Elmer & Jaqueline Malarkey

V

Velma Louise Schitt — SCH-0063 — 1937
• Daughter of Bewilder Overawe & Honour May Schitt
• Sister of Awe, Cordilia Pearl & Margaret Ruth

Virginia May (Huckabee) Schitt — SCH-0056 — 1792
• Wife of Johann Georg Schitt-Talon
• Mother of Henry Ledger Schitt
• Prized pie maker

W

Wanda Violat (Saunter) Schitt — SCH-0072 — 1901
• Married in 1924
• Kept cats… LOTS of cats

Willie Mae Schitt — SCH-0066 — 1904
• Unmarried aunt/cousin

Wilder N. Schitt – [SCH-0019] *1834

Distant cousin of Parrot Schitt; believed descended from a collateral Old World Schitt limb. Exact limb is still disputed.
Founder of Little Schitt Crossing.

Archive Status

Current Register Revision: v395D

Last Updated: July 2026

Maintained By: Crock O. Schitt Historical Archives

Register Status: ACTIVE

Additional records remain under investigation.

A Note Regarding Missing Numbers

Some identification numbers within this Register do not appear sequentially. This is intentional. Unassigned numbers have been retained where records suggest additional family members may exist but have not yet been sufficiently documented for inclusion.

— Deep Schitt, Assistant Family Records Coordinator

Ain’t missin’. Jus ain’t found ’em yet.
— Crock O. Schitt

That is precisely what “missing” means.
— D.S.

No. Missin’ means we HAD it n’ lost it. We ain’t had these yet.
— C.O.S.

Please stop writing on my catalog notes.
— D.S.

Then quit leavin’ blank spots.
— C.O.S.