Crock O. Schitt Historical Archives
Established for the preservation of documented history, questionable decisions, and the occasional edible public record of Schitt County.
Our collection includes marriage records, cemetery surveys, newspaper clippings, census reports, family genealogies, and several documents that survived the Great Goat Incident of 1978.
County officials continue to deny the goat’s involvement.” The Archives maintains no official position on the matter.
The Museum Archives are now accepting historical records, questionable family stories, photographs, documents, and any Schitt worth preserving for future generations.
Current Collection Status
Schitt Family History
Status: Partial Recovery
Little Schitt’s Crossing
Status: Active Reconstruction
Before You Wander Through the Family Tree…
Status: Visitor Orientation — Current Edition
Scheister Gazette Archives
Status: Initial Collection — Active Acquisition
The Goat Era (1811-1847)
Status: Active Research
Annotated Regrets
Status: Expanding Rapidly
Unidentified Documents
Status: Under Review
Witness Statements
Status: Highly Questionable
Goat-Related Records
Status: Surprisingly Complete
How the Mangrove Grows
“Folks occasionally ask how all these records, families, places, and stories stay tied together. Truth is… they don’t. Least not in the way most folks reckon.
Archives don’t grow like oak trees.
They spread like mangroves.
One record leads to another.
One cousin uncovers another.
One story drops a root into the mud and, before long, the whole county’s tangled together.
After a while, nobody’s rightly sure where one limb ends and another begins.
Records are records.
The mangrove simply keeps spreadin’.
— Crock O. Schitt
Crock O. Schitt:
“The Archives spread like mangroves. One root finds another till the whole county’s connected.”
Deep Schitt Sr.:
“That’s one way ta look at it.” …..”Close enough… but ya still got it wrong.”
Broke P. Schitt
(family recorder, circa 1898):
“Don’t matter how tangled the roots git… somebody’s eventually gotta pay fer the fence.”
“Roots ain’t the important part.
It’s knowin’ which one ta quit pullin’ on.”